My marriage chronicles - 3 Months

That day, was as normal as any other day, or so I thought. Of-course I have heard about mood swings, and have experienced them myself, and have tolerated others'. But wives, are a different human species all-together. And I have learnt that after 3 months into my first marriage. Although, I had been warned about them before, the first hand experience always teaches you a lesson for life.

We were just having a casual talk. And slowly, the track was shifting towards scathing personal comments. Which, most of the time, I didn't mind. This wasn't that bad, but I took offence, and thought it would be funny to reply back and make an equally scathing PERSONAL comment.

We were in the lift, going back home after a little shopping.

She: You should exercise more.
Me: I already do that. 5 days a week, and that's sufficient I think.
She: You are becoming an "Aloo (Potato)".

That was it. That was a poke at the wrong place and time. I have good reflexes, and so without even thinking I blurted out.

Me: You have become a ladies finger.
That's a nice comment with an atom bomb in disguise I thought.
She: Haha, I know. I have been losing weight all these days, and have become slim now.
Me: (With a grin and a triumpant smile) Ummm.. Have you seen them in a shop? They are always broken from everywhere. 

She: Grrrrr.... Wait...
She snatched the keys from my hand, opened the door and shut it on my face. And said:

"Go away. I am not allowing you into the house anymore."

Me: It's our house, don't you remember?
Trying all I could to pacify her.

She: I gave the rent for this month. So, I have all the rights to throw you out.

I thought, she would calm down in a few minutes, so I went out and walked a bit. I was not really sure if she was serious or just joking with me. I was in a state of confusion. So, I updated my facebook status.

"Wife threw me out of the house. Wandering on the streets."

I never thought, this post on facebook would be my most popular post of 2014 within just a few minutes.

After a few rounds of the city, I came back and knocked at my own door, with a plan to somehow find a roof over my head. The temperature outside was 30 degrees, and I had no idea what was the inside temperature. But, at-least I wouldn't get a tan inside.

Knocked 10 times. No response. The only response, I got from her, was on Facebook. And that was:
"You deserve it". 

And that comment of hers, beat the popularity of my post hands down.

Anyway, I told her, "I am thirsty".

The door finally opened, and I saw her hand pushing a water bottle through the small gap. I tried to catch her hand, but she dropped the bottle, and shut the door.

I kept knocking, and knocking. The neighbors saw me walking back and forth in-front of my own house. They seemed confused. Thank God, I don't yet have them on my friends list on Facebook.

After a few more minutes, she opened the door. I was alert, looking for a chance to run inside.

She: If you want to come in, make me feel special, praise me, and only then you get to enter the house.

Arrrghhhh!!! Not again.....

Me: You are my butter scotch, gulaab jamoon....
(All the sweet dishes that I could remember, although, the only thing I was thinking about was "Karela - Bitter Gourd")

And then, Voila..... I was given a safe passage.

New ways of cheating

Recently, there has been a truck loads of new ways of cheating people. I have, once fallen into their trap but I realized very quickly. You should have heard about SpeakAsia scam which was recently in news. Hahaha, that's not the one I fell for. There has been a whole lot of similar scams in the past. People, smart people, sometimes fall into their trap and end up losing their hard earned money.

One of the terribly pathetic and ugly trap is a program which is being aired on NDTV Imagine channel. The program is "Gold Safe". This program, shows some images of well-known personalities and ask people to call in and recognize them. When I was in college, some 5 years back, I was lured into calling in. I must have spent at least 100 bucks that day. And, quite obviously, I didn't win a dime. Someone who has the ability of adding up 2 2-digit numbers without a calculator would never fall into their trap. But, that day, I just thought of giving it a try. I mean, who would not be able to recognize "Priety Zinta"!!!!! People were continuously calling in and blurting out seemingly absurd answers. The images have been always too obvious for someone to give a wrong answer.

The next one is in the form of an E-mail. There's a website which promises you really great discounts on some of their products. The website is "Bag it today". It seems to be affiliated to "The Indian Today Group". Atleast, the website shows it's logo.

Almost everyday, I receive a mail from this website. Here is a sample e-mail that I received today.

Welcome Kumar,

Congratulations! You have just received 5 products including Reebok Tracksuit,
Numero Uno Watch, Satyapaul Leather Wallet, Lotto Duffle Bag and
Converse T-shirt worth Rs 10442 at Re 5.

The catch here seemed to be this: You could get all these things at a final price of Rs.2999/- only. Seems to be a really cool deal. But, be warned, this is too good to be true. Please don't fall for it. People have, and have repented. If at all, you want to see if it's a real deal, opt for "Cash on Delivery".

I am certainly not saying that all these websites/services that promise you discounts are fake and scams. There are really great services, such as SnapDeal.com where you would get real discounts and deals. But please don't fall into obvious looking traps.

One more scam worth mentioning is the "Free T-shirt scam" that made rounds on Facebook recently. I mean, it was quite obvious to me that it was a scam, but many people still went ahead and gave them their phone numbers, email addresses and postal addresses. None of them have received their free t-shirts yet.

The other category of scams, which I think nobody will ever fall for are those e-mails that you receive from complete strangers who have found a fortune somehow(people make up real good stories, I read it for fun), and want to transfer it to your country to avoid getting caught, and promise you a large stock of bills for your assistance. Don't ever fall for it.

I don't expect the Government to do anything about these guys. They are probably busy handling their own scams. The best part is, unlike the government ones, you could choose not to be looted by these private scamsters and swindlers.

Random post at midnight

Image courtesy: Wikimedia

I was talking to a friend today. He said, "People update their blogs only when they are sad and gloomy. When they are happy, why the heck would they want to sit in-front of their computers typing out their thoughts? Rather they would hang out with friends, have a beer, watch a movie and enjoy their nice time."


Well, I do agree.


I recently started a chain mail and added everyone on my contact list (at-least those I remembered). This time around, the response was pathetic. The last time we did a similar thing, Google had blocked my gmail account for a day stating that the limit of the number of mails that could be sent in a day was crossed. They said that I had sent more than 500 emails for that particular day.  

Dumb!!!!! 

This time, the chain hasn't even been able to collate even 15 links. That's understandable I guess. People have settled now. Some married, some too busy with work and some have perhaps forgotten their old friends. I am not complaining though. That day, I was a little low on work, so didn't know what to do. I was bored of Facebook and Twitter and then I remembered all my friends. :D

Go! get a 3G life!!

The very first mobile phone that I held in my hands was when my father got a Nokia handset way back in 1999. It was as heavy as a brick. And incoming calls were charged at Rs. 5/minute. But, the best thing I liked then on the mobile was the "Snake game". When my father slept off, keeping his phone aside, I used to put the phone in silent mode and tried hard to better my highest record. Back then, it had cost us around Rs 18,000.

Things have changed, and have changed fast. During those days, even Internet(64K dial-up) was a rich man's card. Well, soon enough, broadband internet connections became ubiquitous, along with GPRS services on mobile phones.

As for me, I am always connected. Be it at home, office or even while I am out, my phone beeps virtually every minute. Before, it used to be SMS or WAP messages, but these days, my phone notifies me whenever someone comments on a photo on Facebook, or mentions me on Twitter, not to mention the tens of emails that I receive (I have configured my phone with 4 email accounts, I am not joking).

One of the things that I miss by not having a 3G connection is voice/video chat. I would love to use Skype to call up family and friends, see them live. While on a trip, I could easily watch videos on Youtube. GPRS/Edge aren't fast enough for this. Since I knew the 3G services would be coming soon to India, when I got a chance to replace my phone(lost) with a new one, I bought a 3G phone, even before there was any official announcements about the services. It was stolen within a month. My next buy was also a 3G phone, but I don't have a 3G SIM yet.

Having a 3G would be nice, especially, when my broadband would stop working without any warning, and I have an important mail to send. I can plug-in my phone to my laptop and enjoy uninterrupted access. I can use my laptop while I am traveling. I can update photos as and when I click them without waiting to get back to my wired broadband connection.

While on the move, my phone is my navigator. I don't have to stop and ask for directions now. In the era of smart-phones, we also need a smart network, which is reliable, easily accessible and affordable as well. With BSNL opening up the service first in India, other operators are also gearing up to provide the next generation mobile network, making our lives much more fun and enjoyable.

Movie tickets, Flight tickets, a gift for your girl friend and updating your facebook status will be a breeze. Morning news and your important emails will always reach you on time. You can finally forget your laptop at home while you are out on a date.

3G = I am enjoying it already. Always connected, till my battery lasts :) I am all excited to get a 3G SIM from Tata Docomo for myself.

This post has been submitted for the Indiblogger 3G Life blogger contest. Go get a 3G life.

Today's generation - Kewl

Times have been changing. This change has been so drastic and fast that the older generation find it hard to adapt and accept. I am considering myself the older generation here since I, myself seem to find it difficult at times not too raise my eyebrows.

• You can get everything on the internet. Anything indeed.
• Dude or Dood!!! It's the new avataar of "Hi".
• Guys with long hair are "COOL".
• Bikes with "loud" silencers are the latest craze. We could call them "Amplifiers instead"
• You are an outcast if you don't have a profile on Facebook.
• Your popularity is determined by the number of results on Google.
• You got to tweet before you sleep, and also tweet about your dreams as you see them.
• The fashion quotient of your clothes is directly proportional to the number of holes in your pants.
• You have your father and mother as friends on Facebook.
• Popcorns are costlier than the movie tickets.
• Your pets are jealous of your smart-phones these days. They just don't get any kind of attention. You can get your customized e-pets on your phones who seem to be more real.
• Smileys put through your emotions better.

Ummm, Things change, they will keep on changing. We don't want to be left behind, do we?

Technology Overdose - Overdoes

It's just 21st century and we are being surrounded by more and more gadgets. Makes life easy for sure. But, seems that, we have lost the knack of talking to real people and somehow have started believing on these gadgets/technologies more than on People.

1. Lost in the streets? Open the Google Navigation and ask for directions.
2. No more Newspaper bills. I read it online.
3. Send/Receive mails from the postman? Nah, Email is fast and FREE!!!
4. Cricket match anyone? Big LCD screens at home with 3D analysis of each ball bowled and hit.
5. Meetups/Get-togethers? Video and voice conferences are cheaper than traveling even a mile.
6. Read books? Of course, I buy e-books and read them on my laptop to save paper.
7. Get tickets for a move? Do it online or by phone.
8. Cassettes/CD-Players still alive? Everyone has a portable music player these days.
9. 3+4 = ?? Google tells you now. I don't need a calculator.
10. Buying a car? Dig the forums for reviews/comments.

Orkut, Facebook, Twitter etc are the fastest ways to communicate with people. No doubt about that. But, this really suits our generation where our friends from school stay far away from us now. And it seems that all these things are actually making our lives easier. True to a certain extent. But, for I guess, the story and the experience will not be the same for the next generation.

A decade later, more and more children will be either on Orkut or Facebook. By children, I mean, 6 year olds and up. Most of their time will be spent on updating their status messages or profile, or uploading photos, sharing videos, making new friends, etc. People will have more virtual friends or contacts than the real ones. All this, no doubt, in a way makes you more social, or do they really? Instead of discussing problems/issues with parents/friends, people now-a-days tend to be more open and comfortable in discussing their problems amongst their virtual counterparts. A sense of anonymity gives you the power as well as the freedom of expressing your views, which is good, but it becomes dangerous when people take advantage of this freedom. For example, a Google account of a user, in essence, is his biography. Everything he has done in the past is begin recorded. All his mails, contacts, appointments, location information, searches, videos he has watched is recorded. If it falls into the wrong hands, doomed is perhaps the only word I can think of. I mean, grown-ups would probably learn and manage all this, but isn't it a overdose for the children?

A few days back, I met someone, who I know, is a child, and I was shocked to see his fake Facebook account with hundreds of friends. This guy used a fake name and photo for this account. He has, in short, created a fake person who is completely different from himself. He has a different age, has a job and has also listed his likes and dislikes which is again so different from him. Is this Anonymity? And he is just 13 years old. I tried convincing him to create a real profile, but he didn't budge and said, nobody would want to become a friend that way!!!

Anonymity == FAKE ??

From Wikipedia:  A social network is a social structure made up of individuals (or organizations) called "nodes," which are tied (connected) by one or more specific types of interdependency, such as friendship, kinship, common interest, financial exchange, dislike, sexual relationships, or relationships of beliefs, knowledge or prestige.

A social network is made up of "nodes" and not "people".

NICE DEFINITION