Conversations and her

She is either very intelligent, or just loves to show off her arguing powers. One day, out of nowhere, she wanted to test me. Usually, I lose the argument, irrespective of the topic of the discussion. Here we go.

A chat transcript.

She: Did you see a soul-mate (past, present and future) when you first looked into my eyes?

I instantly knew that I cannot afford to be outright truthful here. Didn't reply for a long time, pondering over my course of action, and also anticipating the possible repercussions.

She: (Impatient) You didn't answer my question.
He: (Oh no.. Not again!!) Ummm, No.
She: No? You did not see a soul-mate in me? You are lying.
Me: (Trying to be funny, to divert her) Living life with you is enough. I don't want to linger around with you after we become ghosts.

She: You are saying that we were not together in our previous births?
Me: I don't remember. (Trying to remember harder as ever)
She: And you don't want to be with me in your next birth?
Me: Global warming, everything will be over soon. So, I am not thinking about my next birth. :)

She: Oh...
She: Okay ("Ok" would have been fine, but "Okay" is a sign of the approaching storm)
She: (She was reading a book just before we started this conversation) Then, I guess, I will read my book.
Me: Hahahahaha
She: Huh!!!

And after that, we had to continue this discussion over the phone and finally reach a conclusion, well, not exactly, but to a point where she can go back to reading her book normally, and me, well, telling myself, "A job well done" and gave myself a pat on my back. :D I won this time. Yay!!!

An unsuccessful love story

There are quite a few love stories I have been a part of. All of them have been unsuccessful, due to various reasons. Not that I am sad about it. But, when I think about them, my mind goes back into the past and refuses to come back to the present. This story is about a girl who I had met just once, and had talked to her for more than 6 months over the phone.

It all started off with a wrong number. I tried dialing one of my friends, trying to remember his number that I hadn't noted down. I was very proud of my sharp memory those days. Well, I do have a decent memory now as well. Anyway, let's get back to the story. I dialed a number, and when I heard the voice at the other end, I didn't know how to respond.

She shouted: Hello, Where are you? I have been waiting here for more than an hour now. And it's going to rain.

My heart started pounding. I was young then, and the her voice was sweet enough to not make me hang up. I wished I could listen to her voice once more without her realizing that she was talking to the wrong guy. Rahul was probably her boyfriend. And perhaps they were madly, deeply in love with each other. "Which girl would wait for a man for more than 1 hour?", I wondered. And then, I heard her sweet voice again.

This time, her voice was softer.

She said: Rahul? Hello.

I didn't know what to say. I was too nervous. Too scared to even announce that I had dialed the wrong number. I didn't want to speak, for the fear of being exposed. I didn't want to speak for the fear of losing this one chance of speaking to this girl. I knew she would go away from my life anytime, very soon. With a heavy heart, I was waiting for that moment to come.

She said: Hello. Can you hear me?

Ah, her voice was so dreamy and musical, I just couldn't let it go. This time, she asked a question which I could answer.

I said: Yes, I can hear you.

That was the moment when everything stopped. She paused for a moment, perhaps trying to match my discordant words with Rahul's. It seemed like eternity.

She said: Who is this?

That ended our conversation. I hung up. Damn!! I tried to keep her thoughts out of my mind all that day. I tried very hard, but failed miserably. Later that day, I got a call from her. I introduced myself and explained her that I had called her by mistake. She didn't seem to mind. She also introduced her. She also told that Rahul was her brother (Phew!!!). We talked for sometime and then she proposed that we could be phone friends. How could I have said "No".

We called each other frequently, very frequently, almost everyday. We talked and talked, but we never talked about "Love". But, I had already fell in love with her voice. We talked for around 6 months, came to know more about each other.

One day, she called me to tell that she was going to the US. I was sad. She said that we could keep in touch through e-mails. I agreed. We had also met once before she flew out of my reach. We exchanged a few mails after that. But gradually, the emails stopped. I wouldn't blame her. I guess, we both got busy with our lives.

Last week, I was so happy and excited to see an email from her. She wrote to inform me that she was getting married soon. Now I hear that she is happily married. She also sent me a picture of herself and her husband.

I am now left wondering as to why she sent me that picture. Have I missed something?

Ooops!!! Sorry...

People lose their cool all the time. So do I. I am generally believed to be a powerhouse of patience. People believe that I have loads of it. But the fact is, I don't have that much. :(

Well, yes, I do have a considerable amount it, but at some point I, too, run out of patience. I am only a human. And I am not perfect.

Anyway, Today, I want to say sorry to everyone at whom I was mad in the past. There are quite a handful of people. Friends, at home and at office. I honestly do feel that I should have exercised more caution then, and perhaps I could have handled those situations differently. At-least, I shouldn't have really shouted at them.

It's a little difficult, however, to keep your cool when people all around you behave crazy. When someone is pestering you, it really takes a lot of patience not to turn around and gag them or shout at them. Most of the time I am cautious. But at times, it gets out of control and hell breaks loose on them. Although I am not violent at all, but people seem to get scared or may be very very angry at me when I shout. It's probably because they don't expect me to retaliate ever. They probably feel like I am not the same person they knew, when I am mad at them.

There have been some instances in the past when I was mad and didn't react at all. Well, most of the times I am like that. Nobody wants to be angry. But sometimes, you have to react, voluntarily or in the spur of the moment. I do, however, at times, regret for my inaction when I should have just blasted off the other person, may be even killed them once and for all.

It isn't a big deal, though, if you can easily shrug off that feeling, and get back into a peaceful state of mind soon, when you could go over it again and decide for yourself if it was right on your part to behave the way you just did. It's perfectly normal to get mad at someone as long as you can ponder over it again and if required apologize for your behavior if you think you were wrong.

Well, I guess, this is not new. Everyone knows what anger can do to a relationship. Everyone also knows that ego is not really a good thing to have. That doesn't help in keeping your relationships if you have a short-temper. We tend to get angry on people frequently who are close to us. It doesn't really matter if you shout or not at a stranger or a person who you don't consider to be close to you. They are not an important part of your life. You are probably never going to meet that stranger again or won't have a life-time relationship with that acquaintance. But that doesn't mean that you could go on swearing and shouting at people on the roads. Your conscience will get to you for that sometime for sure.

Ah!!! I am just talking gibberish. Let's come straight to the point. People, again, I apologize to all of you on being rude or for getting mad at you. To make all those people feel a little better,

"I shout at those people who I consider close to me, hoping that they would understand why I did that"

By the way, Friendship day is round the corner. Those of you who are willing to revive the jagged threads of our friendsip, get ready. :) Happy Friendship Day in advance.

Valentine's Day checklist

Image Link (Wikipedia)

Ahem...14th Feb 2011, It's s big day. But unfortunately, it's a Monday. Damn it!!!!! 2 hours of traffic and 8 hours at work doesn't help. There are so many things to be done. I have a checklist of the things. Here they are...

• Take bath in the morning: This is the most important thing to be done tomorrow. To keep myself fresh throughout the day. I have got a new bottle of perfume, half of which will be emptied tomorrow morning.
• Get dressed: No one likes his/her partner to be dressed the usual way. It has to be different. Still thinking about what to wear tomorrow. I will use my wrist-watch tomorrow after a long long time.
• Message and Call her: Well, to start off, since it's a Monday tomorrow, you have to do this to make her feel special. Never forget this.
• Buy a rose and a card: Another day of the year (besides her birthday) when you should not even think of not getting her these. I am not a flower guy, but I think, for me, a card(big big) one will do the trick.
• Buy a gift: This is a must. It doesn't have to be pricey or big, but you have to get her a gift when you meet her for the first time on this day. If she is nice, she will understand your situation on a Monday, but not getting her a gift is a risk which you should avoid under any circumstances. You can live without a job, you will always find another one, but loosing a girl on the V-Day, it's terrible, considering the fact that nobody else would be free tomorrow.
• Book a table at a costly restaurant: If your girl-friend is a vegan, you will have a difficult time to find a nice decent place. You should have planned for this well before the V-Day. All the restaurants will be reserved for the day. So, plan accordingly. Another cheaper offer, which might just pamper your girl-friend even more, is to cook for her. She will definitely like it, for sure.
• Coffee at a costly coffee bar: Home made food for dinner is so so romantic for girls. But, your best efforts at making the best coffee yourself, is so so unromantic. Take her to CCD or Barista or any of those coffee bars, just don't care if the coffee costs you more than Rs. 200. You have been doing so well till now, and you don't want to spoil the treat. 
• A sweet good night SMS: Send a sweet and romantic SMS after the coffee, and bid her good night.
• A romantic song to end the day: That's the cherry on the cake. But, be well prepared. If you choose the wrong song, you will have to answer millions of questions on your choice of song. :D
• The LAST and the most IMPORTANT THING on my list: To find a Valentine. I know it's already late, but then, there's always a hope. This is my checklist for tomorrow.

Happy Valentine's Day to all. Enjoy the day. If anyone is free for tomorrow, let me know, and I will follow and tick off my checklist for you. :D

The Last SMS - contd.

That wasn't actually the Last SMS. After that day, when we met for the first time, I explained her the whole story, ummm...., not the whole, only a part of it. I didn't tell her that I had any feelings for her. I said that it was just my friend's mischief, and there was nothing more to it. And she believed, at-least, I believed she did. And then, we started talking again.

After our final exams, we(I and my friends) packed our bags to leave hostel and college forever. It was our last day. We hadn't quite planned out our journey back, so, were short of time. I couldn't meet her before leaving, though I was dying to meet her the last time, perhaps, the last time ever. We had a train to catch. I was somewhat saddened by the fact that probably we would never talk again either. She was still in college. I was cursing my friends for not being able to arrange tickets for the next day.

After a few good byes, and hugs, and a few tears, we left the college premises. Somewhere within my heart, I still had the hope of seeing her the last time. Perhaps, she was waiting for me at the railway station. I was nervous. We reached the station. My eyes rolled in all directions. I couldn't see her. I looked at my watch again and again. There were still a few minutes left. All the time, I was expecting a call. I had told her that I would be leaving today. "How could she forget?", I thought.

Our train had already arrived. I wanted to give her a call. But, somehow, I couldn't. I didn't know what to tell her. But I wanted to say, "Why didn't you come? Why didn't you call?". 5 minutes before the train left, I gave her a call in the hope of listening to her voice for one last time. The phone rang, I was still thinking what to say. It kept on ringing. "She must be on her way", I thought.

And then, a voice answered, "The number you have dialed is not ......". @##$#%

I tried once more, still no answer. I was still on the platform, my eyes fixed on the entrance. The train started moving. My friends called out. I felt like crying, felt like running back to the hostel. But I knew I have been expecting for something that would never happen. She would never come, I knew that. Dejected, I boarded the moving train.

I got on the train, settled myself. My friends thought I was sad for my other friends and college. They thought I was already missing the hostel life, and made fun of my. I was in my own world. I was looking at my phone all the time.

After sometime, I typed in the words, "I Love You, I always did, from the very first day we met. Sorry and Goodbye", and sent it to Ms. 291. THAT!!!! was the last SMS.

The last SMS

There was a girl in my college. She was in my class. And her Roll No. was 291. Mine was 294. The guy with Roll no.  292 left college after some days. And Roll No 293 was a great friend of mine. After the first year of college, Ms. 291 and I were enrolled into a new class. Mr. 293 was now out of the story. Well, Mr. 293 actually had a greater part in this story, but I chose to cut short his involvement in this affair, in our affair. In the new class, there was no one between 291 and 294. I thought, someday, I will let her know my feelings when we were alone. I was sort of sure that there was destiny's play in all this, and the whole world was working towards getting the two of us closer to each other. See, we both got into the same class after the first year, and Mr. 293 was left behind. :D

Being in the same class meant always being in the same group of friends, lots of chats, exchanging notes, coffee breaks and snacks, phone calls, sms, emails and a few lunches and dinners. When we used to go out for project work together out of our campus, I always insisted on having dinner at some good place. I had already prepared a list of nice food joints near our campus. She never gave in and said her friends would be waiting at the hostel. Though I always had my proposal ready, I was actually waiting for the appropriate time and opportunity, which never came. But I never gave up hope.

I never got a chance to know how she felt about me. I never asked her. I was afraid. I made my best efforts of  hiding my feelings for her. Actually, I was, and I still am, quite good at it. We were almost at the end of the semesters of the 3rd year of class, when something changed in our relationship. Ahh, I can't forget that day. And I can't forget the culprit as well. Mr. 013. All my friends knew about this girl. Mr. 013 also knew about our affair. He is still a good friend, but I was very angry at him that day. 4 of my friends, including Mr. 013 were celebrating someone's birthday. No points for guessing that the main attraction of the party was, THE WHISKY (some brand, that's not important though, but I remember), and not the birthday boy. He was forgotten after we each landed a few kicks on his back. And there was an oversupply of it (whisky), enough to make us lose our minds. I had already lost my sanity. I could only hear the music playing on the computer with half closed eyes and an empty glass in my hand. Well, I was also thinking about Ms. 291, but I still wasn't insane enough. I thought, alcohol gives you that rush of extra courage, but I needed a few more pegs to get to that stage where I could even think of surviving a fall from the 11th floor. Just then, my phone beeped. It was an SMS. As soon as I took it out of my pocket, Mr. 013 snatched it from my hands. He read out the contents of the SMS aloud. It was from Ms. 291.

"Hey, wassup? I am bored with these stupid girls, care to talk?"

I had to reply back. So, I asked Mr. 013, to return my phone. He said that he will reply that we were drinking and I would call her once we finished the alcohol. All my efforts of getting my phone back went in vain. So, I just let him do whatever he wanted and said, "Go ahead". We had a little conversation.

Mr. 013 : Why haven't you proposed her yet? Are you afraid?

Me : I am not afraid. I think she already knows how I feel about her, but I am just looking for the right time.

Mr. 013 : What the hell? It's been 3 years, and you are still waiting for the right time? Anytime is the right time for this stuff. So do it today, right now. Else I will.

Me : No, please. I will take my time, I am not in a condition to talk, else I would have called her up right now. You always get me pumped up. Thanks.

The very next moment, I was back to my senses, when Mr. 013 thrust my phone into my face, which said, "Message Sent". After a few clicks, I realized that the damage had been done. Mr. 013, sent "I Love You" to Ms. 291, from my phone. Damn!!!! Doomed forever!!! That night, the whole night, I was awake, waiting for my phone to beep again. But it never did. That was the last SMS.........

Emotional Atyachaar - Beware

Hey couples! Beware!! Next time when a hot chick or a handsome dude approaches you to ask for directions. If you know the directions, give them just that. Turn down all their requests of going for a dinner, even a coffee. This just might be your partner spying on you. :@

I guess, everybody would have heard about this reality show where people spy on their partners. It's a nice concept actually, but I guess, it doesn't fit in rightly into the Indian scenario. I mean, it's my guess of course, that, given a chance of a free meal, at-least 95% of us would go for it. Though, the stats from the show suggest that almost 99% of the partners are not loyal.  But, is it a big deal? To some, may be. Obviously everybody wants his/her partner to be loyal. But, as far as I can think, or analyze, it's not a big deal for the couples of today to err or have an affair(short-term) out of their commitments. I have seen many people break-up on petty issues than this. Seems that "Loyalty Test" is the ultimate test for couples before they actually carry on with the relationship or tie the knot.

Spying on your partners is fine. And perhaps, the show has helped a few couples to know about their partners dark side. But is it right to make this a public affair? And that too on the National TV? True, for some, this might well be a fitting revenge for their cheating partners, but what about the poor guys who just thought of having a good time??

As somebody rightly said on the show, "I am not somebody's paycheck". The TV channel has no doubt generated a large viewer-ship for it's season II which will be starting soon. I love the show anyway, but I think there should be a bit more censorship. Don't disclose the names and faces of people. And may be they shouldn't air couples who are not yet serious about their relationship.