Monday, May 18, 2009

To kill a mosquito


Well, Google has a result for each and every phrase that you can think of. I just keyed in “To kill a mosquito”, and hit enter. It showed me 11,90,000 results. Can you believe this? I went through some of them. They were really really good, hilarious and funny. But, they mentioned about the out-dated techniques which we already know.

I think I am the world’s most innovative and the best mosquito killers. Let me tell you that most of the times, I let them go away after donating a drop of my A+ blood. It gives me a sense of pleasure. But, there are times, when I really get pissed from a mosquito bite. Some of them are really so painful, that I wish I had a shot-gun. Some of them just don’t know how to bite without causing any itches or prick. Those are the ones that I hunt for. And believe me, I have a record of 100% strike rate. Hahahaha.

1. First method (Rating : Easy) – When you feel the sting, do not move. Let them stick their trunk inside you. Let them extract a drop of blood from you. When they are done, they will draw their trunks back, and try to fly away. This is the moment. They really get heavy, and so are not able to fly at their top speed. A small splat and we regain all of your blood. This method is effective for people with low reflexes. Drawback if this method: Blood all over.

2. Second method (Rating : Intermediate) – While the guy starts drilling into your skin, they become immobile for a very short duration. Hit them!! This method overcomes the drawback of the previous method. Clean termination!!!

3. Third method (Rating : Advanced) – This is the most difficult for people who have poor hand-eye co-ordination. Killing a mosquito while it is flying requires you to be as quick as Mithun Daa. You keep following it’s trajectory, and when you are sure that you can extrapolate it’s trajectory, you are ready to go. Cup your hands around the guy, and smear it to death.

4. Fourth Method (Rating : Genius) – Target destroyed with 2 fingers. Most of the time I use this technique. While in flight, use only two of your fingers and try to catch them while in flight. This is my favourite method. :)

5. Catch them live : If you manage to catch one of them live, break their legs, or one of their wings. This is the most violent and torturous thing to do. I used this technique till I was 10.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Our Rules for RPL

First things first : What is RPL??

Any wild guesses? No? Ok, here it is, Roomies Premier League.

The name has not been in wide use, but I think the rules of the game remain the same, no matter where the game is being played. Let me give you RPLa brief history of the game.

First year in hostel: Under ragging period, we were so terrified to even peep out of the windows in fear of our dreaded seniors. So,  after college, we had to put ourselves inside our rooms, locked up from outside. Checked and double checked!!

During this time, the foundations of our version of the game were laid down. Although, the game has it’s roots deeper than that, I will only talk about the rules that we officially had incorporated into the RPL.

1. Teams: As in any other game, here also we had two teams. But, the uniqueness was, the number of players in a team was never constant. Depending on the availability, or rather the willingness of our roomies. During exams, we had teams with as low as 1 player on each side, while on the other hand, during the start of our semesters, the number of players would sometimes even rise to 8 on each side.

2. Venue: Most of the time, it was inside our rooms. However, at times, when the teams got bigger than the rooms can accommodate, we moved out into the corridors.

3. Equipments: We are talking about cricket here. So we would certainly find similar equipments that are used in ODIs and Test Matches. BAT: Our definition, it just had to be hard enough to hit the ball without falling apart. Be it a real bat, a broken leg of a chair and when none of the above were available, we managed to get a wood piece from our mess which would have been burnt away to cook our food that night. BALL: A tennis ball preferably, a plastic ball was also used sometimes, in some versions of the game, some teams were often seen using a football. :) No definite rules here. OTHERS: None. Oh!! for wickets, we had chairs.

4. Format: Just like ICC now-a-days has at-least 3 versions of the game, we also had 3 versions of the game. ODIs: These were single matches, which were to be played till the end, and were supposed to be the shortest version of the game. Tests: A bit longer version, these matches took anywhere between a day to 5 days, to be completed. Series: A series of never ending matches, where the same teams meet and keep a record of matches won and lost. This was the most preferred version of the game since we could brag about our stats, records, make fun of others’ performances.

5. Rules: Now the finer details of the game. These rules were the most important. They were followed by each and every player honestly, though sometimes, the match had to be called off, not because of bad light or rain, but because of differences in opinions since we didn’t have an ICC like organization who could sort out the problems.

A. How to get a batsman out?

In addition to the normal rules prevailing in international cricket, we had amended the rules to suit RPL. Here they are:

  • One tip one hand out
  • 3 consecutive body touches (ball hitting your body, a replacement for LBW)
  • hitting the ball directly to one of the walls
  • 3 consecutive misses

B. Bowling rules ?

  • Under-arm compulsory
  • Speed limit – 60 km/hr
  • Body line bowling allowed
  • Negative tactics were encouraged

C. Runs?

  • One run if you connect the ball with the bat
  • No sixes allowed, you are out if you hit a six
  • For fours, you should ground the ball at-least once before it hits the walls
  • 0 runs if you don’t hit the ball
  • No running between the wickets

D. Match abandoned due to ?

  • Lunch, dinner, breakfast or class time
  • Power failures during night matches
  • Disagreement between players (no umpires!!)
  • Ball hit out of the room through the windows/balcony
  • A broken bat

I might have forgotten to add other rules of the game. So I kindly request anybody and everybody who are familiar with the rules to add to this list. RPL rocked. I miss them so much.