Sunday, February 23, 2014

My marriage chronicles - 3 Months

That day, was as normal as any other day, or so I thought. Of-course I have heard about mood swings, and have experienced them myself, and have tolerated others'. But wives, are a different human species all-together. And I have learnt that after 3 months into my first marriage. Although, I had been warned about them before, the first hand experience always teaches you a lesson for life.

We were just having a casual talk. And slowly, the track was shifting towards scathing personal comments. Which, most of the time, I didn't mind. This wasn't that bad, but I took offence, and thought it would be funny to reply back and make an equally scathing PERSONAL comment.

We were in the lift, going back home after a little shopping.

She: You should exercise more.
Me: I already do that. 5 days a week, and that's sufficient I think.
She: You are becoming an "Aloo (Potato)".

That was it. That was a poke at the wrong place and time. I have good reflexes, and so without even thinking I blurted out.

Me: You have become a ladies finger.
That's a nice comment with an atom bomb in disguise I thought.
She: Haha, I know. I have been losing weight all these days, and have become slim now.
Me: (With a grin and a triumpant smile) Ummm.. Have you seen them in a shop? They are always broken from everywhere. 

She: Grrrrr.... Wait...
She snatched the keys from my hand, opened the door and shut it on my face. And said:

"Go away. I am not allowing you into the house anymore."

Me: It's our house, don't you remember?
Trying all I could to pacify her.

She: I gave the rent for this month. So, I have all the rights to throw you out.

I thought, she would calm down in a few minutes, so I went out and walked a bit. I was not really sure if she was serious or just joking with me. I was in a state of confusion. So, I updated my facebook status.

"Wife threw me out of the house. Wandering on the streets."

I never thought, this post on facebook would be my most popular post of 2014 within just a few minutes.

After a few rounds of the city, I came back and knocked at my own door, with a plan to somehow find a roof over my head. The temperature outside was 30 degrees, and I had no idea what was the inside temperature. But, at-least I wouldn't get a tan inside.

Knocked 10 times. No response. The only response, I got from her, was on Facebook. And that was:
"You deserve it". 

And that comment of hers, beat the popularity of my post hands down.

Anyway, I told her, "I am thirsty".

The door finally opened, and I saw her hand pushing a water bottle through the small gap. I tried to catch her hand, but she dropped the bottle, and shut the door.

I kept knocking, and knocking. The neighbors saw me walking back and forth in-front of my own house. They seemed confused. Thank God, I don't yet have them on my friends list on Facebook.

After a few more minutes, she opened the door. I was alert, looking for a chance to run inside.

She: If you want to come in, make me feel special, praise me, and only then you get to enter the house.

Arrrghhhh!!! Not again.....

Me: You are my butter scotch, gulaab jamoon....
(All the sweet dishes that I could remember, although, the only thing I was thinking about was "Karela - Bitter Gourd")

And then, Voila..... I was given a safe passage.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Changing the world..

Changing the world.

Its already been a week since I last wrote the "blog-a-week" post. Sometimes I wonder if the speed of time is faster than the speed of light...

There was once a guy who wanted to change the world. Change the world for good. Change everything which was bad, and make the whole wide world a much much happier planet.

He was really serious about it. He thought he was clever than all the other people, and only he can do this impossible and god-like task. He was full of hope and was determined. Nothing could make him lose hope in what he believed. Not even numerous failures. He would try and try again. Most of the times, he would fail, and be a little sad about it. Others would try to persuade him to give up what he was doing. They would try to reason with him and say "You alone can't change everything. God hasn't been able to fix this world, how can a human do it!!!".

And one day, he realized it. It just occurred to him out of nowhere. He realized, although his intentions were right, he had to do things differently.

People say, with age, comes wisdom. The myth about the wisdom tooth, is, a myth of course. And finally he had found his wisdom at the age of 30.

"Changing the whole world is no single man's task. Even God cannot do it even if he wanted to. He is wiser now. He is changing himself now."

He was no better than everyone else.
In a world where everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself, how could he have succeeded.

Its a weird world these days:

People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.  - Will Rogers

More people follow Kapil Sharma than any of our politicians. In the times of Facebook and Twitter, memes and viral videos have become the quintessence of entertainment. That includes me as well. I enjoy them, laugh out loud(LOL) I still litter the roads, and at the same time complain about the garbage. There was a guy yesterday who threw a bunch of banana peels from inside his car which landed on a pedestrians face. When I tried to peep into the car, I realized they were kids, 10 year olds I think.

I wish I had become wiser at 10.

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Thursday, February 6, 2014

A blog-a-week

A phone shot
Shame on me. I have been ignoring this place for a long time. After 15 or 50 years, if I look at my blog, I would conclude that not much happened in 2014, because, my memory would be dwindling by that time.

And I would probably remember 2014 as a not-so-happening year. Which is not good.

So, to motivate myself, I will force myself to write at least a piece every week. I might just try to bore my readers(if there are any) a little more by penning(this word shouldn't be used anymore for computer typing) down more than once in a week.
So, let's start.

Ummm... I have already started... Can't you see!!! This is the first one, and I am done for the week. Have lots of pending things to finish off before the summers.

The thing is, i hate summers, I hate sweat and I hate working during these times. Summers, for me, mean a lot of sleep. So, before the summer comes, I want to get ready with everything that's cold. Think: a cooler, ice, cool drinks, beer, ice-cream etc.

I dont know exactly why I hate them, still trying to figure it out. I am a very logical person. If there wasn't a reason, I would have loved it as I love the winters. Just a matter a time before I figure it out.

OK. See ya next week. Bbye.. Have a very short friday, and a seemingly never ending week ahead.

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